Is it your first day on the job? The job of being Mom, that is? If so don't be put off or discouraged by what I post here. I have 11+ years experience and counting under my belt and my halcycon "baby days" are looong behind me so my perspective may be a bit different than a newbie with a newborn. Here are some essential ground rules for Mothering that I swear by;
m -
1. NEVER lose your sense of humor. Ever. Even if you are up at 2am with a poop splattered toddler and a comatose husband who stirs awake long enough to ask you why you are making so much noise -
it is critical that you see the inherent humor in the situation (and then quietly plot revenge against said husband).
2. It is OK to not like your children for short periods of time as long as you never stop loving them. It's true; you can be "out of like" with your kids - especially if they are acting like turkeys. You still love them and you can let them know that, too. Nobody is likable all the time. Even your own children. Especially your own children.
3. Unplug from your children and their needs daily - sometimes hourly as the need arises. Children are in a near constant state of neediness. It's their job to be needy; for food, shelter, love, affection, attention, bottom wiping, toy fixing, food, reassurance, more food, more bottom wiping etc. etc. etc. If you don't take breaks - real ones where you flatly refuse to do anything for anyone for a period of time (babies defy this rule - get outside help) then you will become a cranky, irritable version of yourself that you barely recognize. (And nobody likes being around). Take a nap (really). Read a book (Yes! You can!). Take a long tub with the door locked (believe it!). You'll be a better person and a much nicer Mom because of it.
4. Thank yourself for trying so hard to do a good job. Your kids will not thank you - you have to cover that one yourself. Sure sure, you get the decorated flower pot on Mother's Day and don't get me wrong - it's awesome. But it is also mandated. I am talking about a genuine, heartfelt and spontaneous thank you. "Thank you Mom for working so hard at raising me well and meeting all of my needs while working to provide for our family and shelving many (if not all) of your personal plans until I am fully independent. You rock!" So thank yourself (and your partner if you have one and if they are doing a good job - no false praise; sends the wrong message) and if you are lucky when your kids are about, oh say, 30, they will have a blinding epiphany and realize in a flash just how much you put on the line to raise them in this world. I did that for my Mom and I am pretty sure it made her day. To be safe I also Fed-Ex ed a decorated flower pot, you know, as back-up.
So here is my first post. I am just a regular mom with 2 regular kids (Girl 11, Boy7). I am married (13 years as of yesterday) and am sort of middle class. I stay home with my kids during the day (Yes, they are home schooled, NO they are not a. socially retarded b. geniuses c. separatists - more on homeschooling the "Slacker Mom" way later) and I work nights. That last sentence may have rocked some of you. Apparently staying home with your kids is one of the most radical parenting decisions you can make in this day and age based on the responses I get.
So look for more unsolicited advice from a non-expert and hopefully the occasional pearl of wisdom or something to make you laugh during your never-endingly busy day as a mom
Thank You Moms!! You Rock!
